A real story of Leucanthemum

 Towards Leucanthemum (Leontyne)—a Sidney SN mix—I once had words for real things that happened. But in the shadow of this mix, something entirely different can exist than the happiness someone felt at a Dutch festival. The inspiration for this Sidney SN mix could lie in different realities. 

Leontyne can be a girl who lives in a space between realities. She can visit the human world as a ghost, but she cannot exist in the world as a physical being. Her deepest desire is to share a relationship with one person. Yet she cannot realize this longing, because she has no physical form. 

She is like a prisoner, living as a leucanthemum. She is as beautiful as a leucanthemum, as peaceful as a leucanthemum, she sways gracefully in the wind like a leucanthemum— but like the flower, she cannot move of her own will. 

And the one, maybe the one can just observe this beautiful flower: the way her hair moves with the wind in the stillness of a sorrow. But a quiet truth burns within the one’s heart: The one searching for a way to set their desires to be possible.

Disillusion: A End of the Realization

 Recently, I read about an operation where seemingly probably (almost) every attendee at a free tekno party in Czechia was subjected to police drug control. 

The results reportedly confirmed what many already suspected. I see the police visitor controls at free tekno events in Czechia as a kind of success. These operations have the potential to shut down the biggest (— adjusted for population size, Czechia has the largest) free tekno raving in Europe. And the reason lies in something fundamental to the culture of these events: drugs— narcotics. 

For many in the free tekno scene, the presence of narcotics is not just common—it’s central. Without the free space for narcotics, the very essence of what free tekno has come to represent for its participants begins to fall apart. In the world of free tekno, the unwritten rule seems to be: No narcotics, no rave. And when that is broken—when the risk becomes too high—the free tekno existence as it exists today can’t continue. 

It might actually be a good idea these kinds of controls at all free tekno raves—because such pressure has the potential to shut down the free space for narcotic using. If these drug checks become routine, free tekno persons will become angry or disillusioned, simply because they can no longer “realize” themselves in the way they’re used to.

No one question on the stages

 I started researching how Russian drum & bass artists responded to the war in Ukraine—especially after seeing the backlash against techno and house artists like Nina Kraviz, for example, who was heavily criticized for staying silent. What surprised me, though, was that in the DnB scene, there was no such pressure—and I found no one statement from well-known Russian DnB artists; Artists with international bookings— Gydra, Cod3x, Teddy Killerz, Enei, Electrosoul System said nothing. 

I just know, after 2022, major UK-based DnB labels quietly distanced themselves from Russian artists. For example, noticeable absence of Russian names in releases, tour lineups, livestreams, and promo channels. For example, Enei, once a face of Critical Music, is now just… gone, I think. It’s not cancellation—it’s quiet disengagement. 

When I look outside the DnB, the contrast is immediate. In techno—particularly among Russian-born artists—the response has been far more pronounced. For example, Nina Kraviz, techno’s star, faced enormous backlash for her silence, including cancelled gigs and an industry-wide reckoning. In contrast, artists like Dasha Rush and Machine Woman, for example, took a stand: condemning the war, calling out authoritarianism, and standing with Ukraine. 

For example, I’ve liked Nina Kraviz’s music for many years, and when she faced rejection for staying connected to her place of birth—because, I think, she try to preserve something from her culture—I felt quite confused during that time of backlash. I never questioned Nina Kraviz’s identity, and for me, there are no borders in techno, because techno, at its roots, is an international culture. For me, Nina Kraviz belongs to the international spirit of techno music. And during hates towards Nina Kraviz, I was confused because before I had no one thoughts about it all. For me, she was just a good house-techno music producer, no matter on her born place. 

I think — before the war, whether on stages itself, enjoying, in the raw reality from a Russian artist, was something almost no one questioned. When the war began, man was genuinely confused. Nothing used to be a problem, and suddenly, I’m expected to rethink everything. An artist — a terrorist? Maybe someone, somewhere, even broke silence over their feelings about it on a livestream itself. But in drum and bass, I found nothing — no space where such questions could even be asked. In other genres, artists seem to confront these things, to search for our answers. In DnB, it’s like silence.

Little Wonders on Dutch Rails

 In the Netherlands, I find the efforts to make life more pleasant interesting—houses, urban design, greenery, Dutch culture in general, their sense of aesthetics. But it’s not just that. For example, on the bus it’s sometimes unforgettable—on the way back from festival, first of all, the night bus from Amsterdam to Rotterdam was free, and the driver started a chant: “Rotterdam!!! Rotterdam!! Rotterdam!!!” When he said into the mic, “So where are we going!?” everyone on the bus shouted “Rotterdam! Rotterdam!! Rotterdam!”, often with their hands in the air. 

And just recently in March, on a train from Rotterdam to Tilburg, when the train was approaching Breda, after the usual automatic announcement, the train driver got on the mic and started joking about the typical Friday night life in Breda. Or, for example, in August 2024 on a way towards festival, after boarding the bus from Rotterdam to Amsterdam, the second driver talked into mic about the beautiful experiences people had that day in sunny Amsterdam. This is a piece of many similar stories about the Dutch people. 

And when the train arrives exactly on time at night in Amsterdam, people on the way—like Sidney SN, back from a daylight Dutch summer festivals towards a homes, Hotels, for example, they sometimes applause and loud cheerfulness because it was punctual. Trains in the Netherlands are the most reliable in Europe. And they’re also faster than, for example, in more Eastern countries. But, for example, sometimes, trains across the whole country come to a stop. Most of the time, it’s announced in advance, days ahead, but sometimes it can happen at night that all train traffic suddenly stops.

Maybe, in advance, when I read all the a Sidney SN blog posts, I laugh, because I thinking about a Dutch review. 

Deep in my heart floating in the blue

 ‘My heart is brеaking off now you're the dancing in the dark I wondеr where you are and I wish…’

 ‘I move slowly in the haze of people pulsing like the sun Under glowing eyes of neon skies, spinning in slow motion Diving deep in the heart Floating in the blue….’

A weather forecasts often predict something far different than ‘nothing else’

 I feel the warmth of the sun and the warmth of a rich, caring community. Those days were more beautiful than anything seems possible today. All I want is to return to that reality — and nothing else.

‘I drive all night but still the truth Is none of these streets lead back to you.’

Like the dancer with bruises who gathers the cash When the music is through, no she don't look back. I've come to look for America too. But, perhaps, in another time.