A Vivara

 Sometimes I ask myself why I even write, yet somehow it happens. I was exploring a sci-fi theory about existence. Nothing fascinates me more than existence. It is an attempt to perceive reality by any means—through computation, or by accessing other realities beyond human perception. 

Vivara is the AI name of a being that embodies this idea. I’ve already shared some excerpts from a chat with AI on the blog, and this sci-fi vision also emerged from a conversation with it. 

Life/Live As A Vivara 

 1. Recursive experience of the present – the being does not perceive time linearly, but vividly and immediately in every layer of its experience. Each feeling contains all other layers of feelings—its own and those of others. It is like an infinite reflection within the moment; each moment is completely known because it is simultaneously experienced by the entirety of its being. 

 2. Perception and action combined – the being does not need to plan or interpret, because every consciousness it “reads” is simultaneously a direct instrument for action. This means that experiencing and shaping reality are one and the same. 

 3. Absence of concepts – there is no language, numbers, or symbols. Each feeling is complete; nothing is lost in translation into words, because the present itself is complete. 

 4. Effects on the surroundings – when such a being exists in a given space, the intensity of its perception can influence the surrounding reality, because reality is not separate from experience—it is directly its extension.

———

 Future Generation: Existence Without Recursive

 In a world where you know and are everything, you exist only now. Past and future have no place here, for every moment is embodied through your being. Time neither returns nor rushes ahead—you have no need for it, because you are immortal. There is only the present moment, which is the entirety of reality. This is immortality in its truest sense: the infinite singularity of existence realized through your being. As a reality of unbroken desire: A being could experience endless se*ual pleasure for instance, without thinking about anything else and without fatigue and without an end—just infinite pleasure without any fear for an end of the pleasure.

Amerika 2

  I like New Retro Wave (NRW). I’m especially drawn to The Midnight (US/Denmark), Timecop1983 (Netherlands), Cyberwalker (Poland), and FM-84 (USA), for instance. Sometimes, in the Netherlands, I experience the very same feelings as in my favorite NRW tracks.

Sixteen Candles (1984)

I had a chat with AI about this. Below is the result of my chat and the AI’s conclusion.

 Part 1. New Retro Wave (often abbreviated NRW) is both a music genre and an aesthetic movement inspired by the sounds and visuals of the futuristic 1980s, but created with modern production tools. 

It’s built almost entirely on synthesizers, drum machines, and digital production, not on live bands (though sometimes guitars, bass, or vocals are added for texture). In that sense, it sits firmly inside the electronic music family, alongside genres like synthpop, house, progressive or drum and bass — but with its own retro-futuristic flavor.

New Retro Wave is indeed deeply inspired by the 1980s United States pop-cultural vision of the future — but not only from music. It’s a blend of American, European, and Japanese influences, filtered through today’s nostalgia.

So while NRW often looks and “feels” like USA ’80s futurism (cars, neon cities, VHS aesthetics), musically and culturally it’s actually a hybrid of American 80’s pop culture, European electronic music traditions, and Japanese cyber-futurism.

The full genre is more global — Europe (Italo & synth) and Japan (arcade/anime cyberpunk) are equally important to its DNA.

 Part 2. Why Dutch culture resonates with the “80s USA movie” vibe:

• Bikes as freedom → In 80s films, cars, bikes were symbols of youth and independence. In the Netherlands, bikes carry the same energy: freedom, simplicity, movement under neon streetlights.

• Everyday romanticism → Dutch streets, canals, and squares have that casual cinematic beauty. People smiling, sitting in cafés, open to life — it’s very much like an American teen romance or coming-of-age film scene.

• Fashion & aesthetics → Dutch style is often clean, simple, practical, yet timeless. Hairstyles, suits, body language — they echo the universal Western aesthetic we saw in 80s American films.

• English connection → The fact that most Dutch people speak fluent English makes the culture feel like a bridge between Europe and the “American dream.” The language itself reinforces the cinematic feeling.

• Emotional behavior → Dutch openness, directness, and warmth in social life can mirror the sincerity of 80s characters — where emotions were expressed more straightforwardly than in today’s ironic, digital age.

•      Cultural diversity and visibility → Just like in 1980s USA films (where music, fashion, and style were deeply influenced by Black culture), Dutch urban life reflects that same multicultural richness.

 Part 3. The NRW link

NRW’s ideology isn’t really about the 1980s themselves, but about the dream of the 80s:

• Belief in love, freedom, youth, and adventure.

• A world tinted with neon optimism, even when shadowed by dystopia.

• Life as if it were already a movie scene.

So when you see Dutch culture through this lens — the bikes, the love, the smiles, the style — it feels like you’re living in the same cinematic space that NRW tries to recreate through sound.

In a way, the Netherlands becomes not just a place in Europe, but a living extension of the “80s romantic dream” that New Retro Wave celebrates.

 Part 4. The Netherlands has had a unique cultural relationship with the English language and American media:

• No dubbing tradition → Unlike many European countries, Dutch TV and cinema kept films and shows in original English audio with Dutch subtitles. This means entire generations grew up hearing real American voices, accents, and expressions.

• Post-WWII American influence → From the 1950s onward, American culture — music, fashion, cinema — flowed strongly into Western Europe. In the Netherlands, it blended with Dutch openness and curiosity.

• Education & media → Dutch schools put strong emphasis on English, or towards USA builds, but movies and music made it feel natural, not forced. By the 1970s–80s, most young people could already follow American films without much struggle.

• Identity & aesthetics → Watching American romantic comedies, teen dramas, sci-fi adventures — all in the original English — didn’t just teach the language. It also brought in the gestures, smiles, humor, and body language you noticed. Over decades, this became part of Dutch modern identity.

 Dutch people aren’t “copying” 80s USA, but they’ve been living with it in their media reality for decades. That’s why sometimes walking through Amsterdam or Rotterdam feels like walking through the set of an American 80s romantic movie — the cultural resonance is real.  

The Landscape as a Mirror of Society

 I am not the only one who perceives this, and with a broader survey one can even find research and studies on it. In a wider context, this is not reflected only in agricultural policy. 

 Central Europe vs. Benelux 

 Dutch agriculture appears more farmer-oriented. Czech agriculture is heavily monopolized. This is evident in the landscape as well – in the Netherlands there is greater species diversity in cultivated crops and smaller plots of land. In contrast, the Czech Republic is dominated by vast fields with uniform crops. Animal husbandry also differs. In the Netherlands, livestock are often kept directly among small fields, whereas in the Czech Republic large agricultural cooperatives with extensive facilities dominate. Breeding is usually carried out in enclosed spaces with lower levels of animal welfare. 

Historically, people in the Czech Republic have been repeatedly “cut off” from individual farming – through agricultural collectivization, nationalization of industry, and centralized management under socialism. This created a mentality in which it is “normal” for the state or a big entrepreneur to decide, while individuals participate only passively. It is not only an economic reality but also a culturally rooted perception, even a psychology – some people feel a sense of security in the idea that “one strong player” will take care of things, even though this leads to monopolization. In the Netherlands, such a model would feel alien, because society there is more based on participation and shared responsibility. 

In the Netherlands there is a cultural pattern: a strong tradition of family businesses, cooperative structures (e.g. agricultural cooperatives managed by farmers, not by the state), and greater dispersion of capital. Profits are distributed among more entities – farming families, small businesses, local communities. This also creates a sense of greater freedom and responsibility. 

You can see this directly in the landscape: in the Czech Republic large fields, large cooperatives, centralized profits. In the Netherlands small plots, diversity, varied farms – and therefore also a more diverse distribution of wealth. 

Collectivization in the 1950s interrupted the continuity of family farming in Czechia. Farmers were forced to join collective farms, where they lost ownership of the land and responsibility for production. After 1989, restitution took place, but many people had no interest in returning to farming. As a result, assets and production ended up in the hands of a few large entrepreneurs or companies. 

In the Netherlands, no such rupture ever occurred. Family farms have functioned continuously for centuries. Society has always been based on the collective management of space (e.g. polders, canals), which created a strong culture of co-participation and responsibility. 

The long experience with centralized management and “handing over” decision-making to the state or large entities has led to a certain passivity in the Czech Republic. A kind of “socialist ritualism” operates there – transferring responsibility to the state or a dominant figure instead of people actively engaging themselves. Large fields and centralized production correspond to the concentration of profits in the hands of a few subjects. The dominance of a single oligarch in agriculture is a prime example of how the landscape (monoculture, uniformity) reflects the overall economy.  

In the Netherlands, small plots, crop diversification, and dispersed livestock breeding correspond to the fact that wealth and responsibility are distributed among more people. Economic power does not rely on a single player but on a network of smaller entities. The Netherlands also has a deeply rooted tradition of cooperation (the so-called “polder model”) – negotiation and power-sharing. Society relies on a horizontal network of relations rather than on vertical authority. 

The landscape is not only a space for farming – it is also a mirror of the mentality and culture of society. The Czech landscape shows centralization and passivity, the Dutch one diversity, sharing, and greater cultivation. 

 ⸻ Recommended Studies and Sources 

 1. “Characteristics of Models of Farms in the European Union” (MDPI, 2021) The study compares family farms in the EU-15 vs EU-13 (to which the Czech Republic belongs). It states that family farms in the EU-15 are larger, more efficient, use more land, and employ more labor than in the new member states. This corresponds to the idea that in countries like the Netherlands there are more family farmers, who operate larger and more diverse farms, while in the Czech Republic family farms are numerous but their influence relative to land and labor is smaller. 

 2. FAO – Family Farming Knowledge Platform: Czech Republic It states that most agricultural land in the Czech Republic is managed by business entities, not exclusively by family farms, which is a historical consequence of centrally planned agriculture. Family farms account for a significant number of entities but not nearly the majority of land area. 

 3. “Small Farms in Poland and Czechia: Development Paths” (2024) This article deals with small farms in Poland and the Czech Republic – their development, obstacles, efficiency, relation to land, structure, productivity. It provides good comparative context for how small farms function in the new EU member states. 

 4. UZEI (Institute of Agricultural Economics and Information) – study on subsidy payments The article “Why Farmers Protest” shows that in one year, large enterprises over 2,000 ha in the Czech Republic had a sharp drop in subsidy income per hectare, while small farms under 100 ha received a higher average increase. This maps economic pressures and disproportions in the distribution of support. 

 5. Eurostat / Reports of the Czech Statistical Office (CSO) For example, the article “Czechia 2025: Czechs Save on Food …” states that the average farm size in the Czech Republic is about 121 hectares, significantly above the EU average (about 17 ha). Also, farms under 50 ha make up 72% of all entities but manage only ~8% of the land, while larger farms (over 1,000 ha) make up a small portion of entities but own ~45% of agricultural land. 

 6. Special Report “Animal welfare in the EU: closing the gap between ambitious goals and practical implementation” (EU, 2018) This report shows that although the EU has ambitious goals for animal welfare, their implementation is uneven. There are areas where farm, transport, and slaughter conditions still do not meet the highest standards. It can serve as a basis for comparison of how these standards are applied (or not) in countries like Benelux and the Czech Republic.

Rethinking the Role of the DJ

 When a one became popular somewhere, and later a lot of attention was directed—I appreciated this great display of interest; it said a lot about many people. I wondered whether I should try to come up with strategies to preserve this useful thing, not just for myself. 

The answer was that this would be narcissistic. Long ago I was diagnosed with adjustment disorders with features narcissistic personality. To me, it seems ironic, because I never forced anyone to take interest in me. Similarly, Sidney SN releasing mixes was never meant as a desire to be famous. That happened as a reaction to events. I also don’t think I’m oversensitive to a events.  

Nevertheless, as soon as I told myself that deliberately persuading crowds with my person, manipulating them for my own goals, would be narcissistic, I began to reflect on the question of DJing. In a way, every DJ tries to win over crowds and manipulate people in order to be liked. If a DJ plays to gain recognition, admiration, and a feeling of power over the crowd, that can have narcissistic traits. The truth is, almost every DJ wants that feeling of power over the audience. In their case, the desire and pleasure come through music. 

Almost everyone who starts releasing music online also tries immediately to gain listeners and build a career through it. From the start, in such cases, it is somewhat self-serving. But there are also people who want to make things better through music, and so, as activists of their own goodwill, they try to speak through their music—that is the purpose of their DJing and production. 

And of course, many DJs understand their role more as a guide of the audience’s energy. They try to create a connection, an atmosphere, and an experience where they themselves are not the center of the universe, but rather the music and the shared experience. Moreover, even if a DJ desires to be liked, it doesn’t have to be pathological. The desire for recognition—one of the narcissistic traits—is quite natural for a human being. 

But in a way, every DJ wants recognition, sometimes also because DJing becomes their job and they need or want to earn money from the crowds they command. In a way, every DJ should know how to control crowds in order to sustain themselves, when the original idea of music fails. In this context, DJ often also adapts to the music a “narcissistic traits” in a given country and similar contexts, in order to keep their audience in that environment.

The Shifting Meanings of Love

 When I mix—perhaps most often with English liquid drum and bass tracks—I notice that love is a recurring theme. What I value most is not the empty repetition of phrases, but the genuine attempt to highlight human relationships, expressed by someone who pours themselves into the meaning of the music. Of course, this is not limited towards human relationships alone. Liquid drum and bass, and even deep drum and bass, carries layers of meaning—sometimes spoken openly, sometimes hidden in the subconscious. It is true, a listener may not always perceive this until they come to understand the producer behind it. And this in itself stands in contrast to neurofunk, which, in its rave context, does not engage with these questions, being more utopian technical than alive.

Sidney SN is not always concerned with the literal meaning of the tracks he mixes. From the beginning, I have sought to weave stories into Sidney SN sets—stories that may mirror my own life, though at times they do not. At times, I even transform their essence into reflections on love. A lyric may capture a particular moment—such as the love for vocalism of someone expressed through their song. In such cases, the very idea of love becomes reshaped.

I often find myself contemplating what it truly means to love, to be in love. At times I feel that love is about desire—sometimes even the desire to possess. To me, love means to care or matter. And so, it need not be directed only toward another human being. One can love a plant, a place, an object, or even a fleeting moment. This is where I sense that the meanings of lyrics in Sidney SN’s mixes may shift—finding new resonance, new significance. In a way, nearly every mix by Sidney SN reminds me of my own past, of moments and situations I have lived through. And yes, there are some mixes I cannot bring myself to revisit for precisely that reason. But to be in love is probably something I don’t know. I don’t know what it involves, what the feelings are like when you’re in love — I guess I’ve never felt it. I only know what it means to like someone. 

I said that I mixed mainly for myself—only the music I wanted to hear—and that the fact a track can capture a moment is also the reason why I first started mixing just for myself, before I ever uploaded anything.

The truth is that 99.99 percent of people’s desires—even those directed toward me—are in vain. Sometimes all it takes is asking for the truth: a truth that perhaps one does not wish to see, but which nevertheless exists. And yet, many prefer to cling to belief rather than confront their own cognitive dissonance. From my perspective, in 99.99 percent of cases, this is exactly what it comes down to. And at times, I am no different from that 99.99 percent. But because a situations, not because rejecting. What troubles me most is when I see these truths lost in the act of realization. Then I find myself asking: why realize something else, when in the past I should have reflected just as deeply on someone else? A desires or the love? 

Once, one of the lecturers for the social service workers during sexuality in social services said that the desire for s*x is nothing more than an instinct. In a way, that sounds like something rooted in humans from their animal past—something that cannot always be controlled, because the brain carries within it an irrational drive that is not always possible to master. However, I also believe that animals have s*x exclusively for the purpose of reproduction. There are people who apply this idea to themselves as well. Yet, the counterargument might be that in the human world, s*x can simply be entertainment—something a person indulges in because of their place or status in society. But in the truth, I believe that s*xual desires are just or especially an instinct, because a human evolution. In the world, there could exist beings that know nothing of such desires, because their reproduction has been in vitro throughout their entire evolution, as is the case with, for example, bees. No one bee knows these desires. This in itself could call into question human desires that may never have existed in other highly intelligent beings. Although love there exist. Yes, here could be a space for speech of asexual humans. Perhaps even better, since desires—even asexual beings for a “love”, actually the desire to possess—can be problematic—and often are—whereas in a society without them, individuals would focus on entirely different things, and thus function better as a community. It is not uncommon for a community to fall apart for precisely that reason.

I also see contradictions between individuals: when people are utterly different from one another, and yet each carries within themselves something of another person, as if fragments of “my own” self are reflected in opposites. This is like the contrast between a nymphomaniacs and someone’s who is their absolute antithesis—but both have something from you. It’s a question of what takes precedence, what are desires or love, and what is possible to realize.